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Eff the circus. Leave these poor fat ass elephants alone.
It’s adorable seeing animals anthropomorphized on the interwebz. Sometimes it’s even useful. Especially if you’re issuing grim life updates: And I get sick of seeing the peanut gallery and their buzz...
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I need this dog that doesn’t exist.
“I need this dog in my life for Christmas,” I said to myself the second I saw this: However, how this creature came to be suddenly sparked a thought-debate between my sister and I today: Sis: How the...
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4 reasons you’d die if you hibernated till spring.
We can learn much from our animal friends. Sadly, most of the really the fun stuff (like sitting on power lines or trying to fly off a roof or in anything that’s not huge, pressurized, and shitting...
View ArticleMonkey see, monkey save
As often as I see these stories, I still sit there slack-jawed and captivated every damn time. And that goes for my humankind’s acts of kindness on the tracks too. A dude jumping on top of another...
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Dat vengeance, doe.
Sometimes, on my sunrise runs, I’ll hear too-close for comfort gunshots. You’re not allowed to hunt in these woods, but people do – when they think they’ll be unseen. I’m not that well read on hunting,...
View Article5 things we can learn from these animals
Much like all of non-human nature, I learn a lot from my dog. I learn the value of rest, the simple bliss experienced at the touch of another creature, how to properly greet someone I haven’t seen all...
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Woof wardrobe isn’t 100% stupid (say experts). But close (says me.)
When I was little, my mom would make me wear the most mortifying ensembles. Baubles. Clown suits. Ribbons with streamers. Dresses with shoulders that looked like cheerleader pompoms and felt like the...
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I feel like sloths are just trolling us.
Logically, I get it. Sloths are innately slow creatures. We’re all just supposed to accept that and believe they’re not lying arseholes. We even use the two words interchangeably – it’s why the junkie...
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I can teach this fish to walk?
It was somewhere around 5ish when the sushi craving began to take hold. Don’t ask me why I referenced Fear and Loathing just now, but I expect it’s likely the fact that all I could think of was that...
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What I learned from screw-icidal mice
Jesus. I thought I had a fckkd up relache with sex. But then I read about this animal today called the Antechinus – who forks for fourteen hours at a time, OD’s on his own testosterone, and then...
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